For us the life continues, however when a beloved leaves, we would like to follow him and stop living.
When the evening, we go to bed, the last thought is this one: "if only we didn't need to awake any more." The morning we noted that there is another day in front of us which we must receive. It became very living this verse of the Bible: "Thy shoes shall be iron and brass; and as thy days, so shall thy strength be. (Deut. 33:25)"
God's will was that we continue to live. Two years already passed.
The will of God is beyond our comprehension.
When we believe that His will and His works are without mistake and that all is planned in advance for a precise goal, even if we can't understand it for the moment, that gives us the force to continue and believe. We don't need more, tomorrow will perhaps not come. "Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." (Mat. 6:34).

We continue and we manage, but it's not easy, it haven't been either promised to us an easy life, but one's promised to us: "Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world." (Mat. 28:20).

The mourning:
For the loss of all close relation we must pass througth the so called mourning.

What does that mean in practice? One said that there are several stages; the shock, the refusal, tears, loneliness, culpability, bitterness etc. Each one of us live these stages but maybe not in the same order. We can't say either, that the mourning takes one year or two. Mourning lasts certainly all the life, just as the joy. We cry our dear which is not right now with us, we miss him. It's completely natural, we doesn't need to hide it. We must talk about him. We must be able to think of him, he's present in our home and each day of our life. We felt that ourselves. Speaking about Timothée, remember him, it's, indeed, the best thing that others can offer us. When someone tells some anecdotes, or talks about him, it is for us like a gift of Heaven.

If we can cry him together, it is more likely what comforts us. Unfortunately we have to note that many doesn't want to talk about him. It's like people avoided the subject, refused to show their feeling, to tell their own sadness, being afraid of the feelings of the parents. Why? Death belongs to the life. The one who die doesn't cease to live. For us, he's always present, in our memories and our thoughts. For us, he continues his life, but in another shape, in another place. We believe that he continues his life in the Heaven House. Over there, all his wishes are filled and over there, there are no diseases nor concern. All this comfort us and we believe that we receive the consolation as the Bible promises it; Eternal Life. We can cry, Jesus also cried. And when we cry in front of Him, He comforts us. To Jesus it's not a taboo of speaking about death, because He overcame death.
A very wise sister (Françoise) said to us: "Cry, because your tears can be a source of blessing for others."
The psalmist said: "Put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? " (PS 56:8).

We never ask God to remove the sorrow of our heart, nor the pain, now they are parts of us, but we ask Him to help us to live with and to change it into blessing.

It's better to take away immediately the culpability and the ammertume. They destroy our spirit and all our life. Whose fault is it? We can always say: "If we had done this or that." One could perhaps have done it, the doctors could, the prayers could, the faith could. But however, all was in the plan of God. We want to accept all things as coming from God's hand. Then we have the quiet spirit, we know that it was for our best. Then we are able to thank God and to be happy. That can seem a religious stereotype, but we assure you, that it's certainly true, it's that to live by the faith, the trust in His perfect power. We lived all this and we can say like Job: "Word of You had reached my ears, but now that my eyes have seen You." (Job 42,5)

From where the consolation?
In middle of all these tests, we feel ourselves however alone and lost, since by nature we depend the ones on the others.

For the people who lost a member of their family, the church organizes discussions groups. Unfortunately, in our area there are no such groups for the parents having lost their child. Isn't mourning similar for everyone? Not at all, the mourning has several faces. It is different to lose her old mother than her young child, I can testify it, because I lived both recently. It's with people who lived the same thing, that we can be in mourning. This is why there should be more therapeutic groups.
One offered to us, one year after the death of our child, a weekend, near Oulu, for the parents who had lost a child. This weekend was organized by SYLVA (association founded in 1982 by the parents of sick children of cancer) and the Cancerous Department of children of the University Hospital of Oulu. The weekend was free of charges for the parents. The place was pleasant, we were welcomed and we could talk about our children and our experiments with professionels and "specialists" (all those which lived same sorrow.)

Despite everything, the assistance of the close people is most important. Don't leave the parents even if they are put theimselfs in the background. In our culture, the people who are in mourning are often left alone; we live them in "peace", just when they more need attention and the presence of somebody. The days following the death, one comes to testify his condolences, to bring flowers, charts or phones. Then the funerals day come, where one hug, comforts. It is very good. But afterward, the life continues again as usual and begin a deep silence and loneliness. The mail doesn't bring any more comforting messages, nobody doesn't come along. Some even keep out of the way of those which are in mourning, they don't know what to say. It's no need to talk, only to be present, share the sorrow. This expression used in Finland: "I share with" is so nice. It's not possible to divide the sorrow, nor take away a part, but we can have moments of sharing with another person. Doesn't The Bible say: "you with those Delight which are delighted, cry with those which cry." (Rom. 12.5)

The Funerals:
I often thought, that if one day my child would die, I couldn't, I wouldn't support to bury him.
When this moment arrived it had to be endured. Timothée died at home, we were beside him. Then arrived the nurse and my sister too, which helped us in the organization; the undertaking, the acquisition of coffin etc. We farewelled our dear child, put him in the coffin and closed it until the Resurrection Day. How can we bear such an affliction? It was humanly impossible, but when we sang, upright close to the coffin, Timothée's preferred songs, we received from Heaven such a peace, that the human spirit can't understand. When we sang: "God is here, God is here, God is here to bless us and to comfort us", a great peace felt in our heart.

My sister and our friends dealt with the practical burial and service businesses, but we chose ourselves the songs and the programme. The Funerals were celebrated at the church, where, had came to accompany him in his last voyage many families; from Finland, from France, from Martinique and friends of various nationalities, races, and religions. All continents were represented; Europe, America, Africa, Asia and Australia. They was friends of Timothée and he was loved of all. This is why it remained as will of Timothée this song which we sang: "Heavenly Father, protects and blesses Africa, countries of America, Europe, Australia, large Asia, blessed the whole world, blessed the whole world." Timothée always prayed for the children of the whole world and cried because of their sufferings.

The Funerals were for nothing a sad ceremony, but a moment of joy; we celebrated the end of the travel of the little pilgrim, his coming in the Golden City. When we descended the coffin in the grave, a gentle breeze blew over and a small bird began its song of praise to the Lord.

The grave:
Timothée was buried with his grandfather, who died 20 years ago years ago after a long battle with leukemia too, and his grandmother in the same grave, in their arms while waiting for the call of the Lamb which will come to release also their body of the chains of death.
We go often on the grave to lay flowers, it's a place to remember and a mark of honor for those which preceded us and kept their faith. We go also there where we find the consolation and the peace of the soul; that can be very therapeutic, it's no need to minimize its importance.

Memories:
Get rid of the beloved's things is very personal. We shouldn't push, nor give councils in this field. We couldn't yet be able to give away Timothée's belongings. After his burial, we bought some games and videos-cassettes to the children Cancerous Department. That would be certainly Timothée's will. To his friends, we gave some toys and clothings in memory. Otherwise, his room is still the same and it became a place, where it's pleasant to arrange and do our home works. Children can come there to play and remember their little buddy.

Life in front of us:
We must now, continue to live as normally as possible. We go at work, to church and meet our friends. The saying known as: "the life continues", it's can't be say better. We keep our place in the society; our home is pleasant, the garden flowred. We follow the events in the world and have some hobbies. We live as live all ordinary people. However we miss something. We often compared that with an amputation; it's like a part of our heart had been cutted. We didn't delight and didn't entirely take pleasure, all is veiled by a feeling of sadness. We must be accustomed and accept it as part of our life.

There is a reason, just as the entire life brings to us. We always wonder: "What was the reason for which our child suffered so much?" It is incomprehensible, but there is a reason and one day it will be revealed to us. Now, Timothée certainly knows it. God has attracted towards him people through this test. Maybe the prayers bore fruits and that one day we'll see them.
What makes us go ahead, is to believe that soon we'll meet our little darling again. As Abraham believed that his son will be returned to him, in the same way we gave our child to God knowing that at the Resurrection, we'll find him forever forth.

God wants that we help to carry the load of the others. Our task is to help and comfort those which are in difficulty. We feel privileged, because it was allowed to us to live such an experiment of grace and love. It's in His love that God acted like this. It's in His love that God took our child to keep him in a safety place.

We never felt before and so strongly the presence of God. God is with us daily, He's in all, everywhere where we are, in all our doing. How can we, then, refused to share this free gift with others.
We don't want to change a single day from our lived, this richness, this love. Timothée itself said one day: "I am grateful of this disease, without that, I would never been so close to God."
Thanks to this privilege, we are ready to help those which are suffering. If your child is sick, or died or if you are in a difficult situation of the life, if you need comfort or prayer, if you need to empty your heart, or need consolation, we are here. And above all, God is there, He hears and He helps.

"Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God." (2 Cor 1:2,3)

At the time of writing this text, our love of child has been in Heaven for two years. It's difficult to remember and describe the various phases by which we passed. To describe the suffering, the anguish, the fear, these hopes and despairs. The most difficult is to describe this suffering that our child supported during these nine months before receiving peace and perfect rest in the arms of his Father of mercies. It's painful also to describe the moment of his leave and the sadness of this separation. Why then, do we write about it? Why don't we leave the time to do its work and to cure the wounds? On the contrary, we'll re-open them, by reminding these moments of sufferings. Firstly, it's because we owe Timothée that. We want to tell the fight and the patience of a little boy in front of an atrocious disease. And before all, his trusting and his faith in God. The love that he had testified all his life for Jesus and which leads him from death to the Eternal Life. By this testimony, we want to tell all, that there is not oppression nor suffering of any kind, that God can't comfort. Through all these afflictions God glorifies himself.